Fahrenheit 300...

This morning in F.U.S.E, our youth ministry at church, my brother Kirk, had one of the kids (sorry Ross, I know you're not a kid, but that's what I'm gonna use okay!? Love you!) preach on something that God had laid on his heart. The message Ross gave blessed me immensely and basically....changed my life and the way I look at hardships. : )

Recently, Ross was making peanut brittle. Apparently, the deal with peanut brittle is that in order for it to get to the point where it is hard, the ingredients have to reach 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Anything less than that and you'll either be drinking sweet peanut soup or have some goopey peanut nastiness on your hands. The point is....until it gets hot enough to stand firm...it's easy changed and pliable. God showed Ross that until you are ready and willing to go through some heat to get hot enough to stand firm...you're not going to be able to stand for anything.

So, my brother then asked, what would happen to a human at 300 degrees Fahrenheit? There were some pretty gross (and accurate I'm sure) descriptions of what would happen to a human body if the insides reached 300 degrees Fahrenheit. But what it all boils down to....pun intended...is that a human would die at such high temps.

Water boils slowly. It starts off at room temperature and slowly builds until it's boiling. God doesn't bring us to situations that He hasn't prepared us for. The key is, we have to be willing to fight the battles that God calls us to or we will never become prepared for the bigger things. God starts us off at room temperature and builds us up until we are on fire. Are you willing to reach 300 degrees Fahrenheit and die to your ideas about life and your own way of living or run away out of fear because you can't take the heat?

Just like the peanut brittle, when we start our walk with God, we are going to be faced with some heat. As we make it through eat situation, the temperature gets a little hotter. Until we are willing to catch on fire for God, we will be easily swayed and redirected. I don't want to be peanut soup or a gooey mess....I want to be strong and stand for something that is worth dying for. Sound a little romantic, maybe even crazy!? Good....that's what I'm goin' for.

Then Kirk talked about King David. King David wasn't born a King. He wasn't born into royalty. He was a shepherd that protected his father's sheep. While protecting his father's sheep he came up against some pretty unreal stuff. He had to fight a bear and a lion in order to protect his sheep. He could have run and let the bear or lion get the sheep, but instead...he protected them. Who would miss a few sheep here and there? But what mattered to David's father, mattered to David. All the trials and hardships that David had to go through prepared him for the day he fought Goliath. No one would stand up and fight the giants, but God had already shown David that he can do anything with the strength of God. So David stepped up to fight Goliath with the knowledge that God had been raising him up and preparing him for a moment such as this. After David killed Goliath, David's friends and other witnesses went out and killed giants too. So, when you fight, you aren't just fighting for yourself. You are fighting so that other people can witness that winning is possible. Miracles do happen. Even when we think we are going to be the only one's standing up to fight, we are sometimes surprised who is willing to stand next to us once we have the guts to get our butts up off the seat. David kept facing the heat and fighting the good fight....and God took the humble shepherd and made him a King. God is no respecter of persons...what He did for David, He will do for you. No joke.

Have you ever been in a situation where you know in your gut that you need to stand up and say something and you think everyone is going to look at you like you're crazy, or get mad because you're rocking the boat? I mean, you literally start to actually feel hot. You have something burning inside you that needs to get out. I feel like I find myself in situations all the time where God is giving me the opportunity to face the heat and stand up for what's right. It's my decision as to whether I am going to risk saying or doing something that people won't like or if I am going to keep my mouth shut so that I can just blend in and not rock the boat. If I pass up the small things, then why would God ever give me something bigger? There have been situations (many, actually) in my life where I didn't realize that I was in a bad situation until I was right in the middle of it. It's like waking up in a bad dream. When you find yourself in a place where you are heading away from God's path, even if you didn't mean to, there is no time to waste. Get your big girl boots on and get ready for a fight. In order to follow God, you are going to have to fight to stay on the path.

My life has been a battle. It still is. Even when I was a kid I had hard battles to fight. And even though the battles changed as I grew, the fight didn't get any easier. Looking back to that little girl from where I am now....it is truly a miracle of God. People that know me now would probably never guess my struggles, but I know that is the same for everyone. I'm happy that people don't look at me and see a battle torn person. My scars have been healed. What shows now is the light of God and that's all that matters. The simple fact that I am here to write this just shows me that God has big plans for me. My success isn't going to be measured in money, things, and job titles...my success is going to be measured by how I live my life for God.

Is life hard right now? Feeling like you are being handed lemon after lemon? Feel like crawling back into bed and pull the covers over your head and hope that the situation miraculously resolved itself? Does life seem unfair? Do you feel like you can't go on? Do you feel the heat?

You know what God tells us to do when we find ourselves facing trials of many kinds????? He tells us to REJOICE!

Huh!?

Why would we rejoice when life sucks!???? That's because when you are facing hardships and trials, this is just a confirmation that God is preparing you for something greater. Think of hard things you've made it through in the past. When you were going through it, you probably wished and prayed that you wouldn't have to, but looking back...aren't you glad that you did it!? You are stronger now. If you were faced with the same situation again, you would have knowledge on how to get through it. Do you see how that hard situation has shaped you? God loves us too much to leave us as gooey peanut soup that can't stand up against the things that come at us in life. That is why God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. Whatever you are facing right now...guess what....God knows you can do it. You may think you're not strong enough, other people might think you're not strong enough, but God KNOWS that you are or you wouldn't be there. You can't compare yourself to others, the battles that you face are going to be different and you are going to fight them differently than anyone else. The point is to keep fighting. Surround yourself with faithful warriors that will help you hold your sword and shield when they get too heavy. You may not feel like a warrior, but if you are facing hard times in life...believe me...you are. And never forget Who is leading you into battle...God.

It's like lifting weights. If you haven't been training and strengthening your muscles and then you just walk up and try to bench a bunch of weight...you're going to get hurt and you're going to be crushed by the weight. Sometimes we find ourselves in bad situations that we can't handle because God didn't bring us there....we brought ourselves there and now we are in over our head. We weren't trained or prepared and now we are hurt and bruised. But don't worry...we are never alone even when we head out on our own and away from the path of God. The Bible tells us that God is even there when we make our beds in hell. Whoa...that's pretty crazy. We can only set out to follow the path of God and if we find that we have gone the wrong way...don't let guilt and hurt keep you from getting back up....just dust yourself off and try again.

I needed to hear this today. I thank God with all my heart for the amazing friends and family I have that help keep me standing. My family has seen me grow from a frail little thing into a woman that will fight and never give up. These friends and family are fighting their own battles as well. We are all moving forward...our arms linked. When one person starts to go down, the people beside them lift them up. When life seems overwhelming and you feel like you might drown in your To-D0 list...just turn that To-Do list into a battle plan and remember that God has given this trial to you because you are a shepherd that He is turning into a King.

For those about to battle....I salute you...

Love,

Katie the Great

Great Expectations....

My previous blog about my humorous and death-defying search for the perfect pair of jeans really got me thinking a lot about "expectations". And what I've come to realize is....we really expect a lot....great expectations. We are all just a big bunch of expectors (new word). We expect a lot out of life, out of our friends, out of our families, out of our spouses, out of our jobs, out of our educations, out of our blue jeans, and especially out of ourselves, and so on and so on. People, places and things aren't adding up to our expectations and we as people aren't living up to the expectations of the people, places, and things. No wonder we are so darn unhappy.

When we have expectations about something, and it doesn't happen the way we envisioned it would...we are disappointed. Along with our very long lists of what we expect, we have ideas of what we deserve and should have, which are greatly skewed as well.

I've realized that expectations are a huge part of why we are so sad, depressed, stressed, and disappointed. Expectations keeps us in a mold. They keep us weighed down. They keep us from dreaming, wandering, and flying free. We all want to be free, but we keep bogging ourselves down with trying to be all that we are expected to be...for others and for ourselves.

In my own life, I've been feeling overwhelmed with stress and pressure because of what I feel people expect from me, and even more so, what I expect from myself. I worry that if I don't always smile, laugh and say positive things that people will think that I don't trust God, or they'll worry that somethings wrong with me, or that people will think I'm a negative person, or that....etc. I worry that if I don't show up for church every Sunday that people will think that I gave up on God, or that I'm leaving, or that somethings wrong, or that I'm doing bad things, or that....etc. I worry that if I mess up at work or don't work till I fall over that people will think I'm lazy, or that I don't know what I'm doing, or that I don't care, or that I suck, or that...etc.

I could go on...believe me....my neurosis run deep.

But here's the deal, I don't deal well with unhealthy expectations. None of us do. When people start putting unhealthy expectations on me and then don't like it when I don't play the part they want me to play...I get the heck outta Dodge. Not gonna do it.

In my personal opinion, I think unhealthy expectations is a large reason we have such a high divorce rate, as well as high depression and suicide rates. We expect a lot from each other when it comes to relationships. This applies to all types of relationships...friendships, dating, marriage, families. I'm not talking about people expecting me to show up for work on time, and things like that...we need those types of expectations. I'm talking about the unhealthy ones that are self-centered, selfish, and just plain yuck. I am guilty of putting unhealthy expectations on people...we all are.

When I was writing my blog about finding the perfect jeans, I realized that the reason it's seems so impossible is because....it is. There is no such thing as the perfect jeans. They can be great, they can be nice, they can be comfortable, they can lift your butt, they can make you look taller, etc, but they will never be perfect. They will change over time. It's inevitable. They're denim for goodness sake. Even if the jeans stayed the same....I will change over time. All I have to do is walk by a Krispy Kreme and I gain 5 pounds. Nothing stays the same from one millisecond to the next. We live in an ever changing universe....alive and jumping. We realize this...and yet, we refuse to be forgiving and understanding when it comes to each other. The perfect jeans don't exist and the perfect partner doesn't exist. We are all flawed...we're a little somethin' I like to call...human. But for some reason we want to make excuses for why we aren't perfect, but blame everyone else for not being perfect. We're SO WeIrD!

We are living in crazy times. Since the industrial revolution the world and the people in it have grown and changed exponentially, and I don't see it slowing down. Everything is moving faster and faster, and getting bigger and better. We have drive-thru's, vending machines, and the whole world at the touch of our finger via our cell phones. Society is telling us to get what we want, take what we want, look out for ourselves, and screw anyone that doesn't fulfill our every hope and dream. If your love life isn't The Notebook then it's time to jump ship, right!? We're supposed to live the dream , but I kinda want to wake up from this dream because it's turning into a nightmare.

We think that our love lives should be like what we see in the movies, and then we're disappointed when they aren't. We think our friends should be our crutches instead of people to just walk beside us on our journey, and then we are mad when they aren't there. But God tells us to be humble, give selflessly, put others before ourselves, love our neighbor, and above all else, love God....put our trust in Him. Until we are willing and able to do these things, we are going to be sad, angry, disappointed people. We are a self-focused society and we need to start giving and stop taking. We are willing to donate our money to charity and give our old things to Goodwill, but we have a hard time giving forgiveness, charity, and kindness to the people sitting in our own living room. Our boyfriends, parents, friends, husbands, wives, bosses, teacher, etc can't carry us through our lives...only God can do that. But instead of leaning on God and trusting in God, we turn to people...and people....let us down. No matter what, everyone that you love, even the people you think are as close to perfect as you can get, will let you down. It's inevitable. The key is, to not have unhealthy expectations and to lean on God instead of on people. It's not fair to put unhealthy expectations on people...especially when none of us like having them put on us.

When you have God living in your heart, your life changes even without you trying. You trust in God and not people. You love people with the love of God. You see people through God's eyes. You forgive people, because God forgives you. God loves us, and He wants us to want to be with Him and follow Him, but He doesn't force us to. We have free will. We don't have to do anything that we don't want to do....we aren't robots. God loves us too much to force us. God loves us even if we don't love Him. Isn't that amazing!? I can't imagine that. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you would die for them, but they wouldn't even look at you or talk to you? That would be pretty awful. But God does that. So, if God loves unconditionally, then shouldn't we try to do the same?

Think of all the ways that you put expectations on yourself or that other people put on you, or that you put on other people. Are any of those expectation unhealthy? Are you leaning too much on other people? Do other people lean too much on you? Do you kill yourself trying to be everything to everyone all the time? Do you love with conditions? Do others love you with conditions?

Stop.

Let go.

Be free.

Live in the knowledge that you are free in God.

John 8:32 - Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

Galatians 5:1 - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by the yoke of slavery.

Psalms 27: 1-3 - The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

1 Corinthians 3:16 - Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?



Love,

Expector and Expectee....Katie

I'm convinced the devil invented jean shopping....

I didn't think it was possible...but lo....it was.

Alert the media! I found a pair of skinny jeans. And....they fit me.

I see plenty of women of all shapes and sizes walking around with jeans that fit...but for me....it just doesn't happen. Until now....

The Story about the Skinny Jeans

by Katie McNemar

Starring:

Wajhma Massoumi - as the best friend with a positive attitude that refused to give up on my quest for the perfect jeans.

Gap sales lady - as the lady that started the downward spiral into my inevitable existential breakdown.

BDG Skinny jeans from Urban Outfitters- as the jeans that finally fit perfectly and gave me hope for a future..a future where women don't hate to shop for jeans.

Once upon a time there was a girl (I mean woman) named Katie. She wasn't too big. She wasn't too small. She was juuuuuust riiiight. All Katie wanted in the whole wide world was a pair of jeans that fit. Not too big. Not too small. But juuuuusst riiiight! So one day, Katie went skipping through Georgetown with her best friend Wajh....

Okay, I'm gonna have to stop telling the story like that...

So anyway, Wajh and I weren't really planning on actually buying things when we set out on our journey..just some coffee...some window shopping (I know...silly girls!). Plus, it was just one of those days that you just knew wasn't a "jean shopping" kinda day. It was more like one of those "I feel like I just ate ten people and washed them all down with a big bucket of lard" kinda days. One of those days where even your "I gained a few pounds" jeans are fitting a little snug. One of those days where if you tried on a pair of jeans in the size YOU KNOW YOU ARE EVERY OTHER DAY and they were too small you would just scoop your eye out with a spoon.

If you're a woman, and you've gone jean shopping, then you know that I am in fact not being overly dramatic. I feel like I need at least 7 days to prepare to go jean shopping. I need to run every day, stop eating, and grow 6 inches.

The sales lady in the Gap must have not gotten the memo that I was having a "not jean shopping" day. I thought it was pretty clear. Big coat, baggy jeans, no makeup...my hair was in pigtails for goodness sake! In my own silly mind I just assumed that any observant sales person...or person in general for that matter...would take one look at me and know that I had just eaten ten people and washed them down with a bucket of lard and was in no mood to try on jeans....but I was wrong. Apparently I looked like someone with a firm grip on reality.

The sales lady saw me briefly glance at the jean section and then she was on me like a gazelle. I didn't have the strength to fight her off. Before I knew it, my sorry butt was in the dressing room with a pile of jeans. Now, I know what I size I normally am. I have Gap jeans. BUT, this particular day...as I had previous guessed it would be...nothing fit me. I tried to explain to the sales lady that I refuse to try on jeans that are two sizes bigger than what I KNOW I wear strictly because....mentally....I couldn't handle it. So, I left the gap spending only $7 on a pair of very stretchy, very comfy...flannel pj pants. Hallelujah!

We go from store to store...each one as mentally damaging as the next. I mean, while I'm at it I might as well have just tried on some bikini's to really drive my self esteem into the ground. My mind was spinning with dreadful thoughts of three way mirrors, florescent lights, and size zero sales ladies. I tell myself to be thankful that the jeans don't fit because I can't really afford them anyway. But then that thought is kicked out by the even bigger thought that I would sell my kidney for a pair of jeans that fit and didn't make me look fat, short, frumpy, and give me a mean case of muffin top. Wajh, being the natural born inspirational speaker that she is and one of my biggest cheerleaders, continues to assure me that not only do I not look like someone that just ate ten people and then washed them down with a bucket of lard, but that she believes that there are a pair of jeans out there for me....and we aren't going home without them.

Even though I was acting like a ten year old...folding my arms across my chest and refusing to go into one more dressing room....Wajh convinced me to try on one more pair of jeans. I read the tag...skinny jeans. HA! said I. I told her that if I can't find regular jeans that would fit me, then there is no way one Earth that a pair of skinny jeans would fit. At that point I wanted to try them on just to prove to her that I was right and she was wrong.

But then it happened....

Even with the florescent lighting and low hopes.....I knew that I had found them. The perfect jeans. (Please see picture to the right...BDG Black and Blue Skinny Jeans from Urban Outfitters http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?_dyncharset=ISO-8859-1&navAction=jump&id=14678924&search=true&isProduct=true&parentid=SEARCH+RESULTS&color=91) They weren't so high that they looked like mom jeans, but they weren't so low that my underwear hung out. The weren't so tight that it looked like I had eight butts, but they weren't so loose that you couldn't see my butt at all. They weren't so short that they looked like capri's but they weren't so long that I needed 5 inch heels just to wear them. They. were. PERFECT. And get this...they were affordable. I mean, I was ready to sell a kidney, so I suppose that any jean would be affordable in comparison. But the point was....even when I didn't think it was possible. Even when I wanted to give up. My best friend made me feel good about myself and helped me to see that what I want is out there.

And WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

I didn't plan on this happening when I started typing this blog, but typing that last paragraph has forced me to realize something. The same way I feel about shopping for jeans....is dangerously close to the same way I feel about dating guys. Whoa.

WHOA.

Some days I wonder....is he out there? The guy that just fits right?

Let's take it back to the jeans again for a second. When I'm shopping for jeans, sometimes I'll find a pair that fit right while I'm in the store....but once I wear them for a little bit...I realize that they totally don't fit. They either stretch out or start puckering in weird places, etc. But you don't know that when you're in the store....you have to wear them first to find that out. See where I'm goin' here with this analogy!? I've had plenty of guys that seemed right at first only to realize that they are SO not fitting me.

Or sometimes you'll buy a pair of comfy, soft jeans and after wearing them a few times they start ripping and coming apart.

Or sometimes you'll buy a pair of jeans that are too tight and every time you put them on you feel like you can't breath and you can't wait to take them off.

I could go on, but I think you get the point.

I've gotten exhausted looking for the perfect pair of jeans and I've gotten exhausted looking for the right guy....but the point is...I won't give up on either one. I keep trying. I keep giving it a chance. And one of these days it will happen. The right guy will come along. And who knows....maybe it will be because of my new kick ass pair of jeans! : )

LOVE,

The Princess in the story that lives happily ever after....