Sunday, September 18, 2011

My man...

Let me tell you about my man...

I want to tell you about the man I've fallen totally, completely, head over heels in love with.  I want to tell you about him because I want you to understand why I am willing to move to Florida for him.  I want you to know what makes him different than any other man I've ever met.  

In the big scheme of things, I haven't know him very long.  When I first met him I wasn't sure what to think.  I've been through a lot in my life and I didn't want to trust him.  So many people said great things about him and when I read his words I wanted to believe he was who he seemed to be.  But no matter how much I wanted to believe all the wonderful things, it all seemed too good to be true.  I've had especially...say lots of great things, be nice to me, say they'll never leave me or hurt me...and then they do.  Why should I trust him?  What if he let me down too?  What then!?  What if he wasn't for real and I just banked everything on him?

I was cautious at first, to be sure.  I didn't want to tell anyone I was talking to him because I didn't want them to think I was crazy.  I took my time and got to know him.   It wasn't until I was sure how I felt about him that I could tell people about our relationship. 

Each time he would get close to me, I would push him away because I was afraid.  

But he didn't give up on me.

He pursued me.

He would tell me how amazing I am, how beautiful I am, and how happy he is to just get to spend time with me.  He let me take my time and made sure I didn't feel that there were any expectations on me.  
When he told me he loved me, I couldn't understand how he could.  He is so good, and I....well, I've made lots of mistakes.  When he would say he loved me, I knew I loved him too, but I didn't really understand how I could since I really didn't know him that well yet.

He's just so easy to love.

Even though it's only been a short time, our relationship has grown so fast.  He is my best friend.  I can tell him anything and he still loves me and accepts me.  I can be mad at him, or grumpy, or tell him I don't like his decision...and he still loves me.  He has stood by me and held me up while I faced some really hard things.  For a while I kept thinking that he was going to leave or go away because it (or more accurately I) was just too much.  But time and again he has proven himself stronger than I ever thought he could be.  I know this might sound crazy, but I think he loves me even more when I tell him about my brokenness and my mistakes.  

My man is one of a kind.

I share myself and he shares himself.  He tells me his dreams.  I tell him mine.  He tells me about the people that he loves and how he wants to bring healing, love, grace, mercy, justice, and compassion to a hurting world.  The more he tells me about his heart, the more I fall desperately in love with him.  The more he shows me how much I melt his heart, the more I feel comfortable crawling into his arms and finding rest, peace, and a safe place.  The way he looks at me and thinks about makes me blush.  Sometimes I feel unworthy of all his love, but most of the time I see the Katie that he sees and I understand why he's so....into me. :)

He makes me feel beautiful, cherished, honored, and respected.  He shows me that I am an irreplaceable partner in what he dreams of doing.

The closer I get to my man, the more "me" I feel.   I see myself the way he sees me.  The more I trust my man and let him love me, the more I am able to open my scarred heart and let love flow out to those around me.  

He gives me confidence.

My man and I make a perfect couple.  Together we will change the whole world.  Together we are unstoppable.   

I can barely remember what it felt like to live life without him, even though I haven't known him long.  It may make me vulnerable to put so much trust in someone that I would leave my plans behind just to follow him to Florida.  But if you know him, you understand why I would follow him wherever he goes.  

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.  Each day with him is full of adventure and surprises.  Some days I don't appreciate him.  Some days I ignore him.  But he is patient with me.  He waits.

He just....loves me.

Are you jealous yet?  

Don't be.

My man is available to you too.

His name is Jesus.

Did you think I was talking about Tony?

Don't get me wrong.  Tony is so freakin' awesome that I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for him. But it's because of my man Jesus that I am able to love Tony and that Tony is able to love me.  Tony loves me in many of the same ways that I described above, but that is only because he loved Jesus first.  

I've known Jesus for only about 5 of the 30 years I've been alive, but Jesus has always known me.  


Like before time began he knew I was going to almost get caught stealing eyeshadow from Dollar General when I was 15.

He is still so proud of me even when I'm not proud of myself.

He has stood by me, held me, and protected me even when I was living a life far from him....denying him...mocking him and his believers.   When I first met Jesus and heard about him I was an atheist that wanted nothing to do with God.  But...there was just something about this man...Jesus.  The more tough questions I asked, the more God was faithful to reveal Himself to me.  He's not afraid of our questions, friends.  He's not afraid of our sin. He doesn't look at us and say, "Whoa there....that's just too far!  You're disqualified until you get it right."  His love is so full of grace and mercy that many of us run from it simply because the truth of it is so overwhelming.  We would rather be cynical than venture towards that painful, yet beautiful light.  

If you've never met Jesus...let me tell you something. He's not who you think He is.  

You judge Him based on His imperfect church.  You say that you don't want anything to do with him because your neighbor goes to church and yet lets his dog crap on your lawn every day and leaves it there for you to step in.  You ignore his pursuit of you because some people that call themselves Christians told you that you shouldn't cuss, or drink, or wear certain clothes and that pissed you off.   You shut Him down because His followers offend you.

But let me tell you about my man...

He is worth a look.  He is worth a few seconds out of your life to say "Hey Jesus...I don't know if you're real, but I've heard that you're kinda awesome. If that's true, I want to find out.  Let's meet up."  I promise you...if you seek the truth about will find it.  You can read about Him and research Him, but He'll finally reveal Himself to you in the one place where no one else can go but Him...your heart.  

I love my man.  And my man loves me.  Wherever He is...that's where I'll be.  


His woman

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