Happy New Year, ya'll!!!
I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas and wonderful New Year celebration.
Everything was completely amazing and perfect until I was using the upstairs bathroom and my dad chopped a hole through the door with an ax, stuck his head in and with a huge grin and a crazy look in his eye yelled, "Here's Johnny!".** Man, I was really hoping my family wouldn't go all "The Shining" just because we were snowed in for a few days. I mean seriously, it was only two freakin days. I'm pretty sure that Jack, Wendy, and Danny were stuck at The Overlook for months on end without any contact from anyone that wasn't a projection of their subconscious, covered in blood, or dressed up like a bear. Jack at least had the decency to lose it AFTER a fortnight of being cooped up with his weirdo wife and kid. All I have to say about all that is...REDRUM.***
**That didn't happen at all. My dad knows full well that if I am in the bathroom, he is to be no where near it whilst wielding and ax. Us McNemars take bathroom time very seriously.
***If you've never seen Stephen King's The Shining, then this last paragraph probably seems extraordinary odd and confusing to you. Actually, even if you have seen The Shining it's probably equally as odd and confusing. The Shining in and of itself is odd and confusing. Please excuse my twisted sense of humor. All work and no play makes Katie a dull girl.
But seriously folks, my family and I had one of the most wonderful Holidays I can remember having; even if no doors were chopped down in a murderous rage.
|Kirk put his long johns on backwards.|
Mom (talking to Dad, Kirk, and Dana): Ya know, I've been thinkin' we should get one of those Wii things so that we can all play together when you kids come in. Wouldn't that be fun?
Dad: Aw heck, by the time we get one of those things they'll be callin' it a "They".
I got to hang out with my "boys" this year. My cousins Bronson and Bryn were both in town and I got to spend a few minutes chatting with them. When I was little it was me and the boys most of the time. Kirk, Bryn, Bronson and I were always together in the summer when we stayed with my Grammy while our parents worked. We got into all kinds of shenanigans. These guys are the reason that I find farting endearing and can hold my own in conversations about cars, trucks, model trains, planes, and automobiles, video games, and oddly enough...legos. If you haven't been fortunate enough to have already read the story about the time I peed my pants....I suggest you do so now.
|Bailey McNemar and her best buddy Papa McNemar|
I'll leave you now with my short list of New Year's Resolutions:
1) Never again yell, "Nice balls" to an elderly lady who is hard of hearing (or anyone else for that matter). It doesn't matter how nice her Christmas tree decorations are....it's creepy.
2) Try and not gain the 5 to 10 pounds that I always resolve to lose. That seems like a better plan than resolving to gain weight so that I have something to work on in the new year.
3) Bring back the overuse of the word "tad". As in...."Kirk, your leather pants are a tad too tight. Might I suggest a nice acid wash jegging instead?"
|This is an old picture, but I sure am glad I still have it!|
4) Resist purchasing the complete first season of Magnum P.I. from Amazon.com. Regardless of the fact that I have a $50 gift card, I must resolve to spend it wisely. Pray for me so that I might have the strength to endure this test.
5) Start a crowd surfing phenomenon during worship at church. Gone are the days in which a few raised hands are enough to show your willingness to give it all to God. It's crowd surfing season, my friends. Mark Driscoll will ultimately call it evil and it will slowly fade away; but hopefully the craze will last long enough for Jon Acuff to add it to his Stuff Christian's Like.
6) Donate at least half of the 30 black turtlenecks that I own to those in need...of black turtlenecks. How can I sleep at night knowing that I have an overabundance of black turtlenecks while there are people who have walk-in closets totally devoid of black turtlenecks? The need so great. I know I won't be able to change the whole world's black turtleneck supply issues, but it's a start. If you have black turtlenecks that you would like to donate to those in need of black turtlenecks, please email me at:
7) In order to end my list with a Holy number I have decided to add a 7th resolution to an already amazingly awesome list. In 2011, I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky...I will not, under any circumstances, do the electric slide at a wedding. In order to ensure that I keep this resolution I will be attending zero weddings this year. Unless it's my wedding. That one I will pretty much have to attend. But even then, I will NOT do the electric slide. The Macarena is fair game though.
Happy New Year everyone! May God fill your lives with love, peace, joy, happiness, prosperity, health, a tad less stress, and few more black turtlenecks.
K to the T
What were your Holiday highlights and/or new year's resolutions? Do make resolutions? Did anyone take an ax to your bathroom door? Talk to me....
|Santa is alive and well and getting ready to walk into the dentist's office in downtown Buckhannon, WV.|
|Our Christmas tree at my parent's house|