Monday, March 1, 2010

My Bollywood Moment....Shocking Finale

I am SO sorry to keep you all waiting.

I know that you have been impatiently awaiting the finale of my completely ridiculous and utterly over-the-top Bollywood moment turned extravaganza.  Well, let me just start with telling you all that Edward Cullen has been removed from the mix altogether.  I realized that as much as I love his buttery eyes and smooth talkin'....he doesn't eat people food.....SO that's gonna be a major problem during the Holidays.  My mom makes the BEST pumpkin rolls and the thought of him not being able to sit at the kiddie table with me and my cousins and fight my brother for the drumstick during Thanksgiving is almost too much to bare.  Plus, who wants a guy who's skin can out sparkle yours?  I mean, it's hard enough to feel pretty these days, who needs to compete with a sparkly blood sucking vampire that has been alive long enough to be your great great grandfather! CREEP CITY! 

Another development to my tall tale is that Mr. Helping Hand is also completely out of the mix.  Let's be honest....he just wasn't interesting enough.  Any good Bollywood movie needs drama and this dude just didn't produce.  He didn't show up unexpectedly at my job with flowers and start singing about the wind blowing through my flowing tresses and the light emanating from my hazel eyes.  We didn't see eachother on a bus and just barely meet eyes and then both disappear.  We didn't both reach for the same cup of coffee and look up to see that we knew eachother. NONE of that happened.  So, obviously, he had to go. drama shall end with the only man dramatic enough to deserve a true Bollywood Shocking Finale....Shahrukh Khan will now be starrring as.....Shahrukh Khan.  Yep...that. just. happened.


So....Shahrukh Khan has heard about my blog.  Obviously.  Why wouldn't he, it's marvelous!?  Word got out in Mumbai about my newfound love of Indian cinema, and my blog is all the buzz.  After reading about, what some might call, my overly dramatic Bollywood moment, he decides he has to meet the brilliant mind behind it all.  Not only does he want to turn my Bollywood moment with Mr. Helping Hand into a Bollywood hit the likes that no one has seen before....but he wants ME to star in it with him.  Drew Schmew, says he....I want Katie.  (Get in line, buddy). Even though he has never met me, or seen me...he just knows...I'm....the one.

So, he breaks his vow to never fly into the US unless he has to and he takes the red-eye straight into Reagan National Airport.  I, of course, have no idea that all of this is happening and am just innocently getting ready to walk across the Key Bridge from DC into Virginia carrying a copy of one of my favorite books...Pride and Prejudice.  Shahrukh had my address, because he's a super star and has people that do that kind of stuff for him, so he hopped in the first cab he saw and was heading into DC.  What he didn't know what that it was rush hour in DC and he was going to be sitting in traffic forever.  Something in his heart told him that he didn't have a moment to spare.  He throws $20 at the cabbie and starts running down the sidewalks and streets until he reaches the Key Bridge.  (I think you see where this is going....).

As I am almost to the middle of the bridge a big wind picks up and knocks my well worn copy of Pride and Prejudice out of my hand. I watch as my beloved book flies through the air and slowly floats down into the muddy waters of the Potomac.  I instinctively reach out to catch it and almost fall over the railing when all of a sudden I feel someone grab my hand.  I slowly turn to see the beautiful man who this Helping Hand belongs to.  It takes me a few seconds to realize that the man that I have been blogging about, then man that I have been watching in movies, the man that I have a huge crush not only standing in front of me, but he has just saved my life.  I am speechless.  A crooked smile slowly forms across his face.  He looks at me and says, "This moment reminds me of a story I once read about an Indian man in DC lending a helping hand to an INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS American girl.  In fact, that is why I'm here.  I am on my way to see the amazing woman that shared this story on her blog....and I'm going to ask her if I can produce her movie and maybe...just maybe....she might consider me as more than just her producer."  I continue to stand there, staring in amazement.  Could it be!?  Was he really in see...ME!?  I couldn't find words.  They wouldn't come out.  Shahrukh gives me a big smile and starts running across the bridge in the direction of DC.  He was running so fast, and I was so in shock, that I couldn't catch up with him so that i could tell him....I'm her.  I'm the INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS American girl!  I knew that I had to get back to my apartment before he got there.

I run as fast as I can.  Finally, I get to my apartment building and run past the front desk.  Each step seems slower than the next even though I am running as fast as I have ever run.  With each corner my heart leaps with anticipation...hoping..wishing, that he would be there.  I reach my door only to find a note taped to it.  It reads, "My Dearest DC Mystery Girl, I flew all the way from Mumbai just to kiss the hand of the woman that wrote the beautiful story of her brief moment with a kind stranger.  I so hoped to have been able to meet you in person, but it seems as though this letter requesting you allow me to produce your story and make it into one of the biggest Bollywood hits there has ever been will have to suffice for now.  I hope you don't mind me being so frank, but the only part about your story that I didn't like, was that you envisioned Drew Barrymore playing you.  For me, the only face that I could see when I thought of making this movie, was yours...and I don't even know what you look like.  My heart tells me...your....the one.  Many Blessings until we meet, Shahrukh Khan."

My knees felt weak.  My left hand placed against my door was the only thing holding me up.  I couldn't believe it.  All my dreams were coming true.  Tears of happiness begin to stream down my face.  I run to the front desk and ask if they had seen which direction the man had gone in that was just at my apartment.  I started running in the direction that they pointed.  It felt like hours that I searched.  All I could think about was his hand reaching out to me and saving my life.  How was this all happening?  I don't know why I thought that I would be able to find him in a city full of people.  I finally gave up the search and decided to return to my apartment to get some rest.

As I turned the final corner I saw a figure slumped against my door. As I got closer, my heart lept into my throat when I was him.  I quietly walked over and knelt down beside him.  He was sleeping and I didn't want to startle him.  I take my hand and carefully move a strand of hair from his face and his eyes slowly open.  He studies me as a look of  recognition slowly creeps across his face and grabs my hand.  He slowly pulls my hand to his lips and gently kisses it without moving his eyes from mine.  He then reaches into his bag and pulls out a small package.  He smiles and said, "I should have known that the girl I saved today would be the girl that would save me for the rest of my life."  He hands me the package and explains that he brought me a little something that is near and dear to his heart.  "You never show up to a date empty handed." he said sleepily.  I open the package and find that he has brought me a copy of....Pride and Prejudice.  "Oh my goodness!  I didn't realize that you saw the book that I lost on the bridge today!!  Thank you so much for replacing it.  It's always been my favorite love story."  His smile widens and he begins to laugh softly.  "Katie, my dear, I bought that book in Mumbai only moments after reading your blog.  I knew that I had to see you, and I knew for some reason that this book would be the perfect gift for you....even in your writing I can tell you are a bit of an Elizabeth Bennett."

I will end my story with a picture.

A picture is worth a thousand words:

I said yes.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This pic is from Shahrukh Khan's new movie "My Name is Khan".  (In theatre's now!) A movie in which he is NOT starring alongside Drew Barrymore and has NOTHING at all to do with my DC Bollywood moment.  However, it does take place in the USA which is where I live and play, so at least we're getting closer!!!  One of these days, ya'll.  One. Of. These. Days.

PS - I am fully aware that Shahrukh Khan is very very married  and has kids.  But that doesn't mean that he isn't ridiculously hot and that I can't one day star in a movie with him.


Katie Khan

1 comment:

  1. Now that's what I call a happy ending (in our heads). I love it! You are always a star in our movies. Love ya, MOM


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