Monday, October 31, 2011

Kick the Tires...

"Babe, let me do it"

I think Tony must have said this at least 3 times while we changed a flat tire together.

I don't know if you all know this, but I'm stubborn.  Okay, and prideful.  I believe I've mentioned this before, but it bares repeating.

I get home about an hour or so before Tony does.  He told me he would help me change my tire when he got home.  But, that flat tire needed fixin' so decided that I would just go ahead and fix it myself.   I figured that when Tony got home he would be so dazzled by my sweet tire changing skills that he would let me watch all the Twilight movies while he rubbed my feet and told me how skinny I looked.

That's not what happened, though.

No matter how hard I tugged and strained, I couldn't get the lug-nuts off.

After trying for over 40 minutes (<----stubborn) I ended up waiting for Tony to get home and he was able to change the tire without even breaking a sweat.  While he was changing the tire I kept trying to help him.  I would try and take the tire off the hub, or lift the spare tire, but I was just getting in his way.

Tony was trying to help me, but I didn't know how to let him.

I spent so much time praying for a partner in life that would be there to take care of things like this, but now that I have Tony and he is doing things for me, it's not easy to let him.

When you've done things yourself for awhile a couple of things happen. 

1) You start to take pride in all of the things you are able to do on your own.  Not that that is a bad thing.  It just makes it hard when someone else can do it for you better than you can do it for yourself. 

2) You start to feel like you are inconveniencing people when they help you, because you know that you could do it yourself if you had to. (Although, those lug nuts where pretty much glued on if you ask me).

3) You start to feel like you are weak if you let someone know you need help.

But I've realized just how important it is to learn to receive from others. 

I need help.

I need people.

I struggle sometimes.

When I am struggling with something, I don't have to exhaust myself trying to deal with it on my own.  It was so easy for Tony to change that tire and I almost gave myself an aneurysm trying to do it.  The same goes for times in my life where I feel overwhelmed, sad, depressed, exhausted, stretched too thin, etc. 

Even Jesus asked for help.

Jesus asked the disciples to pray with Him in the garden of Gethsemane.  He asked the disciples to feed the 5,000 hungry people.  He asked the woman at the well to give him some water. 

Even though He was fully capable of doing everything Himself (and I'm sure do a much better job at it than them), He still asked others to help Him.  It was never just for His benefit, but for the benefit of the person He was asking.

When we ask for help, we give people the opportunity to give and grow.  If I did everything and never let Tony do anything, then he would feel like I didn't need him or trust him.  The more I tell him my struggles and trust him with that information, the more real our relationship is and the closer we grow.

I'm not suggesting that anyone be less than they are so that someone else can feel good about themselves.  Heck no!  I will never be less than who I am.  Be you, baby!  I'm just saying that we all need to realize our needs and our limits and kick pride in the teeth instead of trying to "be strong" and not "bother" anyone.

The tire story does have a happy ending.  I may not have convinced him that a Twilight marathon would be fun, but he did look mighty fine getting some grease on his hands.  And as a bonus he did tell me how beautiful I am and then went and got me my favorite meal from La Granja. 

Kick the tires and light the fires!!



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