Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Bollywood Moment...Valentine's Edition

What would a perfect Bollywood movie be without an antagonist and a tragic love triangle!? Why, it wouldn't be a Bollywood movie at all!

I know what you're thinking. Katie, you're 29...hang up the Bollywood stuff and get back to the real world. To that, I say this...NO (while pouting and stomping my foot)! Allow me to linger a moment longer on this completely ridiculous Bollywood fantasy that I have created...come's Valentine's Day!

Since I have yet to have another DC Bollywood Mr. Helping Hand spotting, despite my almost constant presence in all the major city streets in Georgetown over the last 3 days (I promise...that is not why I was walking around...seriously...), I can only any rational woman would....that he has been turned into the undead by a jealous, wise, and devastatingly handsome...vampire. Look, I'm gonna be honest with you guys....I fell deeply in love with Edward Cullen when I read the Twilight books. Not even the tan, hot (temperature wise), hot (yummy wise) Jacob could deter my devotion to this undead gentleman vampire. So, as long as I'm fantasizing, I might as well go all the way, right!?

In today's crazy story, my DC Bollywood man, who will now be referred to as Mr. E (get it...Mr.E...mystery!?!!!! PS - and still played by Shahrukh Khan....don't forget that!) has been waylayed in his feverish search for me by Edward Cullen himself (sigh). Edward has been watching me through my window (in a not-creepy way)...he knows of my affections towards him due to the fact that I watch Twilight every other night (exaggeration for story purposes only) and the fact that he can read my mind. His supernatural advantage over Mr. E is admittedly unfair, but hey, what's a girl to do!?

The story continues...

A few days ago as Mr. E is on lower Wisconsin Ave posting signs saying "We met briefly a week ago....I gave my stole my heart, " with his photo and phone number asking me to call him, he was greeted by a beautiful, sparkly vampire with intentions to harm. What Mr. E didn't know is that he wasn't the only man in this town on a mission to win my heart. Edward Cullen had been secretly wishing to court me as well. He had loved me since the moment he read my blog a few months ago. One advantage to being the undead is that you never sleep. This gives Edward plenty of time to peruse the web searching for something that would hold his interest. My blog so captured his heart that he could think of nothing else but finding me (giggle...don't worry...I'm rolling my eyes too). Now there are two men searching the streets of DC for, a handsome do-gooder with a sincere smile..the other, a man with nothing but time and a desire to meet the woman that peaked his interest,....who shall capture the fair maiden's hand!?

Join me next week for the conclusion...DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN!

: ) This is fun!

For the record, as fun as this fantasy writing has been, I just want to say...that I am truly happily being "single" (I put it in quotes because I wanted to and I don't really know why). On this Valentine's Day I am just full of love for everyone and feel blessed that I am so loved. I don't really feel single because I am not alone...what I mean is, I am not a single person on her own...I am a part of a fairly robust extended group of family and friends. It's hard to feel "single" (there I go again) when you are surrounded by so many people that you love and that love you back, even if I'm not currently coupled.

I have been a total Negative Nancy in past years (and maybe a little this year too) about Valentine's Day, but I have realized that it's ok to be happy being single. I think I feel like I am "supposed" to feel lonely, sad, and desperate, and have dutifully felt as such in the not so distant past. Not because I actually felt lonely, sad, and desperate, but because I gave into the pressure and wrongful thinking that if I didn't feel that way then I must be slowly heading down the slippery slope of "spinsterhood" (that one deserves quotes too)...and God forbid, being single forever....if I don't couple myself up real quick like. BUT what I have come to realize is that I am just in love with life and all that it has to offer a curious rambler such as myself. I don't want to be a barnacle to a man in my life and I don't want them to be a barnacle to me. I want the people in my life to be a compliment to me and me the same to them. That goes for family and friends as well as a future man.

Even though the Bollywood fantasy I am writing about is just for fun...there is a reason why Bollywood is so popular...because it's an exaggerated (very) yet true representation of the way we humans like to court and be courted. In the movies, the girls are just living their lives. Content in who they are....I mean they are dancing on mountains for cryin' out loud....and not out looking for a man. Maybe EHarmony hasn't made it to Mumbai yet. They aren't chasing men because they know that when men are ready and know what they want....they will come after them. No reminding a man you exist. No trying to convince a guy how awesome you are. No changing who you are. When a man is ready and his eyes and heart are open....he'll not only know you exist and that you are awesome just the way you are....but he'll also pursue you. Whether he has to chase you in the rain or dance with you on mountaintops wearing leather pants (you just gotta love Bollywood)...he'll do it..because he wants to...because he wants you. That's why the fantasy of meeting your future partner while you are just out doin' what you do is so appealing. All the single ladies, put your hands up (thank you Beyonce!)! Go! LIVE! Live and love your life and yourself! Step away from the speed dating website and no one will get hurt....

In conclusion my friends, I want to thank God who is my Valentine all the time. Just today I was walking and talking (in my head) to Him and one of my favorite songs came on my Ipod. The Presence of the Lord is Here by Byron Cage. It gets me so pumped. As I was walking and listening to the lyrics. I was literally hit in the face by a huge group of balloons that said, "I love you". Had I not been consumed by God's spirit at the moment I would have probably been all bah-humbug about it and said something along the lines of "darn those dastardly Valentine's balloons and darn the people that are buying them....darn darn darn." (I cussing is a little deflated, but whaddayagonnado?!!) BUT I was so giddy with God's love that I knew that God used these balloons to hit me in the face with something that I have a hard time getting a handle on....He loves me. He is always with me. He is always loving me just the way I am. He is always pursuing me. He is always good.

He is.

Big love and hearts and roses and teddy bears,

Katie Cullen


  1. Kate, I have never forbidden you to see anyone (although I tried) but not a vampire! I have to say I love the books too. God is with me on this one. Love ya, MOM

  2. Mom, I promise...I don't actually want to date anyone that is undead...or sparkly-skinned for that matter. You and God can relax.


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