Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Birthday Week - Day 5 - Lord Have Mercy...Seriously...

I got an amazing card in the mail last week from my Aunt Gerdy. The end of my week was so crazy that I didn't even open the card until I got home last night. I immediately knew that God was trying to speak to me as I got one of the best presents a girl can get. My Aunt sent me a piece of paper she found in her Bible. This piece of paper is from the back of an old address book. When my cousin Heather and I were still in school she wrote about us and kept it. For my 29th birthday, she sent that piece of paper to me, and it melted my heart. Here is what it says:

A fresh breath of Spring. Lively yet tender disposition. Always ready to take care of the underdogs in this world. Words that best describe Katie include: sincere in her beliefs, a wonderful friend, slow to anger yet quick to get things done. Katie has a beautiful sense of the importance of family and keeps the angels busy helping her to keep us all on our toes. Katie has the smile and heart of one who conquers the unconquerable.

I seriously can't tell you how much this excerpt means to me. This was written at a time where I didn't see any of the above attributes in myself and and certainly didn't think anyone else did. This was also written at a time where I wasn't very close to my Aunt, so it amazes me that she would write such deep and meaningful things about me. This is mercy. This is Grace. This is how God sees me all the time, even when I feel like all I do is let Him down.

I watched the movie Les Miserables last night and it touched me in such a profound way...especially after reading this excerpt from my Aunt. If you've never seen it, spoiler alert. This is the ultimate story of mercy. In the beginning a robber who spent 19 years hard labor for stealing bread as a young man because he was starving, was shown mercy by a priest. The priest and his wife took the robber in and fed him and gave him a place to sleep. And what did the robber do in return? He stole their silverware and hit the priest over the head and left. When the police brought the robber back to the priest, the priest told the police that he had given the silverware to the robber, but that the robber had forgotten to take the two silver candlesticks he had given him as well. By the priest showing the robber mercy, even though in no way did he deserve it...he allowed the robber a new lease on life. He was a new person. The darkness was released. Throughout the rest of his life the ex-con showed mercy and love to all he could. His humble and selfless living wasn't easy, but in the end, he was rewarded greatly for his sacrifice.

This is how God sees me. I'm far from perfect. Like, way far. I am that robber. But instead of living my life bouncing from one place to the other stealing to get by...God showed me mercy, and now I am a new person. Just like the priest didn't condemn the robber, God doesn't condemn me. And just like the robber stole the priest's silverware because he was afraid he couldn't make it on his own....I do the same in my own life by working in my own power to hold onto things are weren't given to me. When I let go and stop trying to steal my way through life because of fear...God not only gives me what I was holding onto, but he gives me more than i could ever dream of.

I mess up all the time, but God sees the girl in that writing above. He doesn't look at me and say, "Again, Katie? Really!? Why can't you just get it together? You never do anything right." God says, "You have the heart of one that conquers the unconquerable."

1 comment:

  1. I am pleasantly surprised by your strength- in both character and spirit every day.
    You are a wonderful human being.


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